If you could say 10 things to 10 people what would you say?

I thought I’d have a little therapy by venting!

10 Things

1. I’m sorry I hated you so much before, but now I can’t imagine not having you in my life. We’ve become the team of awesome. With you, we’ve done the stupidest of things and made the smartest of choices and I’m glad that we were able to do it together.

2. I don’t know how we even happened, but I’m glad we did. Our relationship has only served to make my life better, and so far it doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I love you.

3. I still love you and probably always will, you really are a great person and deserve to be happy and I hope that one day you will find it. I miss you so much and wish things would have been different.

4. I don’t hate you and I’m sorry for the way I’ve handled things but I really can’t take your obnoxious and psycho ways anymore.

5. HOLY CRAP! Where would i be without you? Probably in a cardboard box with a mental illness that’s for sure. You’re encouragement, guidance, validation and your godlike humour has helped my sanity more than one can possibly imagine. I’ll libre you anytime, as long as I have the money.

6. I think you are selfish, inconsiderate and completely unappreciative. Go die now, plz. Okay, maybe not die, but I think you need a serious wake up call.

7. I think I can truly say that I would not be the person I am without you. Since day one you’ve shown me nothing but unconditional love and  have shown me how to live my life to the fullest and the greatest. Thank you for everything and I hope that one day I can give back what you’ve given to me.

8. I don’t know how in the hell you did it, but you’ve stolen my heart. You’re funny and cute and I’m becoming more and more captivated by you every day. You’re my little ray of sunshine in my dark and dreary moments and I wish that I could show you how I feel in some way. Not a day goes by without me wondering where you are and what you’re doing and I really care about you and want to make you happy.

9. I’m sorry things happened the way that they did but I really don’t like the person you are becoming. I hope somehow we can go back to the old days.

10. I thought you were different, but you’re not.

Butterflies

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

 Come home. Drop my things. Like every other time. But this time, something was different. No longer did I run to the computer, or turn on the tv. Instead, sitting in silence, I contemplated the butterflies. The fluttering, the thumping and perhaps the fragility, of what exactly I could not logically explain. Clutching my pillow and staring into space, my mind raced with the possibilities what what could be, paced with the thoughts of what wouldn’t be, and ignored the thoughts of what should be. Never has something been so terrifying, yet so comforting. To let another affect me so profoundly that I’ve even come to doubt myself, my thoughts and my emotions, has left me amazed. Too mant times have yearned to reach out and touch, but the sickening, unrelenting fear will always keep me to myself and will always leave me to entertain my selfish and sick fantasies. So, instead I’ve come to rely on the little things. Giggling at inside jokes, playful banter, goodnight messages, and sometimes charming little text messages that have turned me from a hardass bee-otch to a squealing little girl. But when all is said and done, perhaps the scariest thing is not what I could be capable of, but instead the thought that maybe, just maybe, he has felt the butterflies too.